Matt Braunger

Last night’s taping of “Comedy Central’s Mashup” went great. Everybody was amazing. I accidentally went short in the second show, thinking I’d seen the light. I probably did half the time everybody else did in that show, and I still feel stupid. Thing is, I was just super aware of how long the show was going and I didn’t want to do too much time. I’d also been really inside my own head all day, and this was my friends’ project, yada yada yadwhocares.

Anyway, that’s just me being nitpicky. I’m really proud of being a part of it. Kyle Kinane, Hannibal Burress, TJ Miller, and Kumail Nanjiani and four of the best comics out there and it was an insane pleasure to perform with them. Happy days.

On a side note, I wanted to write something about me and my online presence here (blog-wise). I’m basically going to write things I think people might like to read about or know. Things I think might be entertaining or interesting. More specifically, I won’t be writing about my personal life. You won’t read anything about my husband Ron Braunger or our daughters Frosthammer, The Mind, or Donnybrook. I just think it’s kind of self-indulgent and boring. 

Thanks for reading, guys. Happy Weekend!

I love the show “Treme,” but I can’t understand the subplot of the two Calvin Klein models who moonlight as street musicians.

bestiesonice:

mattbraunger:

Okay, Los Angeles. I’m at Largo tonight with Greg Behrendt and friends at 9:00, tomorrow at the Joint on Pico for the Fun King Comedy Show at 8:30, and finally on Thursday I’m at the Mashup taping for Comedy Central at the Henry Fonda at 7:30 and 9:30. 

Tickets here: www.mattbraunger.com 

Thanks!

MB

Yay for Fun King tomorrow night! Where the internets and real life collide!

I had the Mashup as Wednesday before. Whoops! Changed.

Okay, Los Angeles. I’m at Largo tonight with Greg Behrendt and friends at 9:00, tomorrow at the Joint on Pico for the Fun King Comedy Show at 8:30, and finally on Thursday I’m at the Mashup taping for Comedy Central at the Henry Fonda at 7:30 and 9:30. 

Tickets here: www.mattbraunger.com 

Thanks!

MB

For those who just started following, I sometimes take real Yahoo articles and re-write them. Here’s the original: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/8-dating-mistakes-even-smart-women-make-1286935/

8 Dating Mistakes Even Smart Women Make.

Dating Mistake #1: Giving blowjobs on the bus.

I know, it seems like it’ll be fun. You love the song “Anytime Anyplace” by Janet Jackson. “Hey, this is my fella. I don’t care who looks.” Well, now people are filming you with their phones. Also, this is your first date. Also, he got off four stops back.

Dating Mistake #2: Buying him pairs of pants over and over.

Hey, why are you carrying all those pants? Thinking you’ll run into Mark at the party and you thought he’d like another pair of pants? Come on. How many pairs of pants have you bought him already? Hey! You look at me when I’m talking to you! Stop hiding behind all those pants. 

Dating Mistake #3: Going to see “Clash of the Titans” by yourself, pointing at your crotch and saying, “I wish someone would get ‘Kraken’ here!”

It’s a lousy joke and doesn’t make a lot of sense. Also, people at that movie are already sad enough. 

Dating Mistake #4: Ask him what he does when he “does it.”

Examples of questions to not ask: “You fuck angry?” “How long is my mouth gonna have to be on it, you think?” “You don’t cry when you come, do you? ‘Cause I always do and that’d be weird.” Another bad one is “You like your balls stomped?”

Dating Mistake #5: Going on the first three dates talking exclusively with a fake accent.

Yes, this is awesome and a serious blast, but don’t do it if you really want to date this person. If you just wanna fuck him, though, definitely talk like an English lord the first three dates. Then on the fourth, switch to Russian and see if he notices.

Dating Mistake #6: Wearing a mascot head on the first date.

Again, awesome, but same reason as #5. HOWEVER, you can do this if you don’t wear a shirt on the date. Nothing like the head of a leprechaun and a bare pair to start a long-term relationship based on mutual trust and affection. Seriously.

Dating Mistake #7: Blogging/status updating while fucking.

A common one. In this modern age of instant access to everyone’s opinions, it’s hard to know where to draw the line. Here’s where it is. At the very least, don’t use the guy’s real name. Still, he might know who you meant the next day, depending on how specific you got.

Dating Mistake #8: Insisting on calling him your ex-boyfriend’s name “Until you get over him.”

I hit a bunch of record stores today because it’s Record Store Day. Okay, well, three. I spent around $70. Here’s what I came home with:

Note: only three of these are brand new.

1. Gorillaz “White Flag/Pirate’s Progress” “10 single

2. “The Best of Elvis Costello and the Attractions”

3. The Stylistics “Let’s Put it All Together”

4. Buddy Hackett “How You Do?” (Featuring Buddy on the cover as a “Chinese Waiter” character. Looks awesomely racist. Giving it to Dwyer as a gift.)

5. Issac Hayes “Tough Guys Soundtrack” (Not the 80s movie, a 70s one. Features the track sampled on the Geto Boys song “Mind’s Playing Tricks on Me. Huge vinyl find. Yay!).

6. Issac Hayes “Truck Turner Soundtrack.”

7. “The Best of Sam Cooke.”

8. Roky Erickson w/Okkervil River “True Love Cast Out All Evil.”

9. Bad Brains “I Against I.”

KA-BOOOOOM! Record Store Day!