This is a message sent by a 54-year-old husband and father who lives in Washington (via Myspace, of course):

You are the WORST so-called “comedian” I have ever seen on the Tonight Show.  But then, I’ve only watched the Tonight Show for 40 years.  Did anyone screen you?  The Taco Bell gig was SO INCREDIBLEY LAME!  Conan looked embarrased, and he should have been!  A chance on the Tonight Show and you come up to the plate and strick out on three pitches with the bat on your shoulder.  Mr. Carson would have gone to a commercial break, vomited, and then managed to pull himself together for the next segment.  You want to be on the stage?  Do some homework and make people laugh, not cry at your grammer school attempts at humor.  Your preformance was worse than your “jokes”!  Wow

Now, I don’t mind that he hates me. That’s fine. My thing is, who the fuck writes something so goddamn mean and sends it to a person? Anytime someone brings up a comedian they hate, I tend to mention that there are SO many better things to hate in this world. We are only clowns. Now, I’m not posting this to get support. I get tons from friends and fans. This just floored me and I wanted to share.

Also, I guess several applause breaks and the thunderous laughter I heard were all in my head. Had no idea I bombed so hard. My apologies!