Twitter Racism!

Hey, I’m not going to post a link to it, but there’s a brand new crop o’ kids posting their racism all over Twitter. Last time it was to Obama’s election, the time before the casting of a black girl in a pivotal role in the movie The Hunger Games (Those are the only two I can think of offhand, I’m sure I’m missing a few). Anyway, this time it’s about the Red Dawn remake. Side note: Red Dawn was a movie that came out when I was a kid that, even then, was insanely unrealistic. Even to a kid like myself who, at the time, thought ventriloquist dummies could come to life.

Anyway, the original Red Dawn had Russians invading America. The new one has North Koreans. So…..you can imagine the racism spewing out. “Kinda wanna kill some Asians and defend the homeland” is one that stood out to me, not only because it’s dumb as shit, but because it’s so fucking half-ass. You lazy-ass racist kids! “Kinda”? 

Look, I’ll get to my point. Yes, it’s awful that racism exists. Yes, it’s even more awful that these are racist teenagers and people in their 20s. That is, the future of the world. It makes me sad and mad and I want to slap their parents for all of us, but here’s the thing: There’s no need.

Here’s why: Those kids are fucked. I once read a Dan Savage column where a woman wrote in telling him she was interested in doing porn. Dan wrote back that she should keep in mind, above all, that it will never go away. Ever. For the rest of her life. Anything and everything you put online exists somewhere. Shit, I still have stand-up sets on the internet I’d pay half my money to get rid of, but I can’t. No matter what I do. I’m just thankful I was never the type to try to ol’ “ironic racism” so popular with my generation of comedians for a time (2003-6). No matter what those tweeters do, those tweets will always exist. Always. There’s nothing anybody needs to do to them, because they’ve done it themselves.

Enjoy adulthood, kids!